Our Story Continued...

So, the year 2008 changed everything for Zach and me. We have a close group of friends that we went through school with, and many of Zach's closest guy friends from the group decided to get married in 2008. We had five weddings on the calendar from the group of friends, and three of them were Zach's best friends.

When 2008 started, I was dating someone else, and had been for almost a year. The first wedding on the calendar came in April. I went as Zach's date because everyone sent him the invitation and knew that I would go with him. That first wedding was amazing. I was in awe of the whole thing. As Zach's date to the wedding, everyone just assumed we were together again, and it took a lot of patience to explain to everyone that we had just come as friends.

Here we are at the first wedding of 2008.

The second wedding on the calendar was in May, and was an absolutely beautiful event. When Zach and I were once again seen together by the same people who attended the first wedding, the questions came in earnest. "When are you guys getting married?" "How long have you two been together?" "Why aren't you guys dating?" "You're next, right?" Zach would smile and tell them to ask me, and then I would have to explain how we weren't together and that we were only friends. They would look at Zach (the fact that he loved me was written all over his face) and then look at me (see that I was frustrated at the inquiry) and they would tell Zach and me (mostly for Zach's benefit) that you never knew what the future held, and that everyone should start out as friends.

The hands of the happily married couple from the second wedding of 2008.

At the time of the second wedding, my then current relationship had been "in limbo", which was my fault. I had told Zach all about it, telling him that I loved my boyfriend even though most of the trouble we were having stemmed from me. I told my best friend about my relationship problems to get his opinion and advice, and what happened is that eventually Zach cried and asked me, "Why don't you love me?"

I was heartbroken when he asked me that. I did love him, I just told myself all the time that I only loved him as my best friend and not as anything more. Yet, I would have to repeatedly convince myself why I shouldn't be with Zach - the little things that irritated me about him, the reasons why it was better to have him as a friend than anything more.

When my "in limbo" relationship ended, I was out of excuses for really examining why I wasn't dating Zach. I had to be honest with myself about how I felt about him. When you are honest with yourself and really face the difficult questions that are easier to avoid than answer, it is amazing how things can change, and quickly.