Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Missing Boston

I really miss Boston, and not just the city either, but my friend Kelley who gives me a physical tie to the city. I had a wonderful time there this weekend - walking through my old haunts, eating at restaurants I love, and spending time with Kelley and her awesome roommates.

Kelley and I talked in depth about my desire to move back to Boston, and my need for change. I love change. I don't know why exactly, but I need it. I need changes in my geography and social network, as well as changes in my routine. I pride myself on being a good adapter to new and different atmospheres, but I did not know that I have come to depend on their being a new need for those abilities always on the horizon.

I believe that I have an issue with escapism. I crave the opportunity to escape from the common make-up of my life, even though I love the things that are apart of my life. New things, new people, and new places call to me; and I am just beginning to understand the strength of this call and the affect that it has on me.

When I was in Boston with Kelley, all I could think about was moving back. I thought about where I could work, what I could do, where I could live, how I would manage it all, and what Zach would have to do. That last part, unfortunately, always came last on the thought list. What is wrong with me? I love my husband, I love my home, and I love our furry babies - why do I want to pick up and change it all at a moments notice?

That is what I'm working through. I want to escape. I want something to change. It doesn't matter that my life changed drastically with getting married, buying a home, and adopting three dogs - no - those are too far in the past (only 4 months though!) with the way my mind works. I want something drastically new today - not a month ago, not a week ago, and not even a day ago, but today.

My poor husband. Hopefully, I can figure this all out.

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